stillplaying | 13th Game [video]

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13th Game [video]

[There's a bashful look on her face when she opens the journal. It's been a whole day now, a whole day since she returned from her kidnapping. Since she had discovered Prim had arrived in her absence, since she had gotten to once again spend the whole day and night in the company of her sister. It had been amazing. A dream that she had never thought possible. Prim was dead and yet... yet, for whatever reason, she had been brought here.

Perhaps she should have alerted those outside of her household that she had returned. But all she had wanted for that one day was to spend it alongside Prim. To tell her everything that had happened in the months - year - following her death. To tell her about Commander Paylor and the new government of Panem. To tell her of all those she had met here, of Peeta and Richard, Teddy and Sokka and Zevran and Rapunzel. It had been the wee hours of the night by the time she had gone to bed.

But sometime in the mid-morning, she remembers promises she had made. To the man who had helped her in learning how to get her voice back. To the boy who was now suffering from a death penalty of his own. She had promised them both a song. And it seems now like such a small price to pay to gaining not one, but two, important parts of her life back.

She ducks her head for a second, fingers playing with the buttons and beads on the handmade necklace Sokka made her. And then she clears her throat and begins to sing with a voice that, as Peeta once claimed, would silence the birds:]

As I look at the valleys down below
They are green just as far as I can see
As my memories return, oh how my heart did yearn
For you and the days that used to be
High on a mountain top, standing all alone
Wondering where the years of my life have flown
High on a mountaintop, wind blowing free
Thinking about the days that used to be

Well, I wonder if you ever think of me
Or has time erased your memory
As I listen to the breeze whisper gently through the trees
I wonder if you ever think of me

High on a mountain top, standing all alone
Wondering where the years of my life have flown
High on a mountaintop, wind blowing free
Thinking about the days that used to be
High on a mountain top, standing all alone
Wondering where the years of my life have flown
High on a mountaintop, wind blowing free
Thinking about the days that used to be

High on a mountain top
Thinking about the days that used to be
And I wonder if you ever think of me

[When she's done singing, she smiles sheepishly and shrugs.] I promised a song to a few people. I hope you enjoyed it.

[She opens her mouth a second later to say something more. And then she pauses and, for once, actually takes the time to construct a filter. To make certain that Prim cannot see what follows. Because even though Katniss' own birthday is only a few days away, she's not thinking of that day very much. It pales in comparison to a much more important day approaching at the end of the month.]

Does anyone have much experience throwing birthday parties? My sister - Prim - she's here now. And her birthday's in a few weeks. We could never afford a proper celebration growing up. I'd like to give her that. Give her everything that she couldn't have back home. [She frowns for a moment, brow wrinkling in thought.] I also need to build an addition to my house. Where'd I go about getting the material for that?

[ooc: for those interested in what the song might sound like. though this isn't exactly how i picture katniss' voice. nor does she have musical accompaniment in this post.]

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I know him. [ and he could guess the necklace had come from him, or else the lad had traded his buttons onwards. as luck would have it, the warmer weather has prompted sharpe to stop wearing his green jacket indoors. his missing buttons would hardly be missed. ] He makes my ammunition an' sharpens my sword. Didn't realize you knew him, lass.

[ after all, neither of them were the sort to pry into each other's personal lives. ]

Edited 2013-05-08 16:39 (UTC)

[Even with the recent change in demeanor, Katniss had remained relatively quiet when it came to her personal life. It was silly, perhaps. Richard had been there for her when no one else had. He had listen to her sorrows and offered his own advice and comfort. She should be able to tell him anything.

But she had spent too much of her life quiet and reserved. Even with Gale, who had been her closest friend for years, she had been reluctant to admit too much of a personal nature.

She nodded in response and grinned again.] We hunt together. And fish sometimes, too.

That so, eh?

[ he releases her from his light hold once proceeding to the kitchen becomes too awkward to do in tandem; instead, he gestures lightly for her to head on ahead of him. courteous again. ] And how often is sometimes?

[ if he pries now, it's only because he wants to gently tease the girl. sharpe's been around enough blocks to make assumptions about why a young lad and a young lass start spending plenty of time together, and it isn't so long ago that he'd encouraged her to find someone with whom she could spend plenty of time. all things considered, and from what sharpe currently knew, sokka did not seem like the worst choice available. ]

[She stopped in her approach to the refrigerator, eyes going wide as she turned to look back at Richard. Had he figured it out? Had Effie said something to him? Did he know then?

It hadn't exactly been as if they were hiding the recent turn in their friendship. Kissing in Seventh Heaven, and then in the smithy. Having sex for the first time in the forest. She even purposely kept that contraceptive tea she had obtained from the clinic in plain sight - if just to further irritate the woman who had moved herself into Katniss' home. There wasn't anything to be embarrassed about. Both Richard and Zevran had encouraged her to move on.

And yet? Yet, she couldn't help but blush a deep red at the question. But then, that was how it had always been when it came to this topic. To anything relating to nudity or intimacy.]

It, um. [She scratched at her head for a moment.] We still hunt. And fish. But it had been fun to tease Effie with this. And then...

[She shrugged and looked sheepish. Looked up at him, searching for some kind of approval in the words she was going to say next.] He doesn't love me and I don't love him. We're just friends that... do things. And I like it that way.

[ he turns his back to her, but only so he could busy himself plucking the poultry. and so he could hide his quiet smile. ]

Nothin' wrong with that, so long as he's good to you.

[There was a clear look of relief that crossed her features as she opened the fridge and rummaged around for the onion. Nothing wrong with that. Even if she had been told that before, that it was okay to seek comfort in another boy, she still had had her doubts. Because it was different now that she was actually doing so.

Moving on from her relationship with Peeta. She'd never stop loving him. And she had swore that she wouldn't fall in love again. But that didn't mean she couldn't have fun, right?]

He is. I think? [She stumbled a little over her words, truly giving it thought for the first time. He was only the second boy she had ever been with.] How would I know?

[ pluck. pluck pluck. ]

If he respects you. Does right by you. Don't hurt you, like. [ sharpe doesn't suspect sokka to be the hitting type, but he'd seen enough wife beaters in his own ranks to consider the possibility. by far and large, luceti is a far more civilized place than home -- but he always fears that the real darkness is only lurking out of sight. ]

[She straightened up, the onions clutched against her chest, and closed the refrigerator door behind her. She dumped them on the counter before walking over to the sink and frowning when the cutting board wasn't where she had left it the night before.

This whole cleaning thing every single day was starting to get a bit annoying. She reached up to search the cabinets before finally coming away successful.]

Damn it, Effie. [It's muttered under her breath as she carried the board, vegetables, and knife closer to Richard and the bird.] He hasn't done anything wrong by me. It's been... fun. A lot more fun than I thought it'd be.

Good. [ although the nuts and bolts of her interactions with the lad are not something he needs to get into, he's pleased enough to learn that she's having fun with it. there's no sin, he knows, in two people having fun together.

and yet: ] Heaven help him if he does, lass, but...if so? You can tell me. I'm 'ere for you. No matter what.

[ her and the younger everdeen, now. someones for whom he could play a quiet sentinel. ]

[She had begun to peel the carrots as he had talked. But the moment she hears him say that, tell her that he's there for her no matter what, she has to place the peeler back on the cutting board. Not since Peeta's departure, really, has she had that. Not since her father's passing has she had it said and meant in any kind of parental way.

Her mother hadn't been there for her. Not in the same way her father had been all her life. She had had no one to take care of her. No one but herself.

Did he know what those words meant to her?

Food abandoned, she crossed the kitchen to hug him tightly around his side.] Thank you.

[ oh, child. he ruffles his fingers through whatever stray bits of hair were available, gently chucking a thumb under her chin. ] Nah. Thank you, lass. It's a lot less lonely havin' someone to look after, even when she does half the lookin' after herself.

[She hadn't had much choice in a long time. No one to look after since Prim died, since Peeta and Rue left Luceti. No one to look after, let alone someone to look after her. He was right. It was a lot less lonely this way.

When he placed his thumb under her chin, she smiled and looked up at him.]

It is. It's even kind of nice to look after Effie sometime. Just - don't tell her I said that, okay?

...That bloody harridan? She's worse than a drill sergeant. An' I'd know, having been one years ago.

[She started to laugh, hugging herself as she did. Effie as a drill sergeant, as one of the strict soldiers from District 13. It was absolutely impossible to imagine. Hilarious.]

She'd never last in a position like that.

[ sharpe laughed alongside the girl -- glad to do so. ] What'd drive to desertion first, eh? The lice, the drink, or the language?

[She shook her head. Effie probably wouldn't even last long enough to experience any of that. If Katniss had lacked discipline, she could only imagine Effie to be an utter failure. If it wasn't connected to her prestige, to Capitol fashions, she doubted the woman wanted much to do with it.]

The very notion of having to serve.

[ he brushes a downy pheasant feather off his sleeve. ] She seems eager to serve those damn Malnosso bastards. And the woman likes her rules. I've known men and women like her all my life -- happy to follow the law's letter so long as it curries favour with the higher-ups.

So long as it's in the comfort of her clothing and makeup and wigs.

[Because Effie was born and raised within the Capitol. Where those ridiculous clothes and costumes were considered normal. The best of everything. The food, technology, makeup and hair. At least Effie didn't have some of those augmentations others from the Capitol had. Unless you counted the wings.

But she remembered how hard it was for her prep team to adjust to life in District 13. How difficult it was for some who were even there willingly. And in the years Effie Trinket had been chaperon for Katniss' district, Katniss had heard all the complaints.]

She likes to be in the spotlight. She'll do anything to further her career. That comes first - even before the children she ushered to the slaughter. But it has to be in every comfort she's used to. If she had to live otherwise? She wouldn't last a day. Why do you think she moved in here?

[ anything to further her career. well -- he doesn't dare admit to katniss that he's found such an attitude can be profitable. of course, his lines are drawn far earlier than ushering any children to any slaughter. but back home, sharpe would do a lot to secure promotion. he certainly only rarely baulked at bringing his men into hell's belly in pursuit of his goals. the difference, he supposes, is that he marches in alongside them. and they -- bless their condemned souls -- follow him willingly.

he gives katniss a gentle squeeze on the shoulder before turning back to the bird-plucking. he needs to think a while longer on miss trinket and her survivalism. perhaps he'd underestimated her motives.

until then: ] Can't say boo 'bout makeup, but I know plenty of wig-wearers. Christ, when I were a private in the 33rd, they'd have us coat our hair with flour paste to make it all white an' then pull it back into a brutal queue. A poor man's wig.

[She made a face at that even if Sharpe couldn't see it with her back turned back to the vegetables and chopping board. That sounded highly unpleasant, much more so than anything she had had done to her hair in the Capitol. Flour paste to coat hair. Though it also made her wonder why white? Did his society place as much significance on reaching old age as those in District 12 did?

She paused in her chopping to glance at him.] Why white?

I'll be damned if I know. I'm not a fashionable man -- and we don't do that to the lads any longer. [ sharpe has no knowledge of trends or fashions or why powdered wigs assured upward mobility. all he knows is... ] The rats would nibble at the paste something awful in the night. Ugh. Was wretched, it was.

[She didn't want to imagine that. Imagine rats crawling in people's hair. She had been forced to live through some horrors in her life, but not anything like that. It sounded like it was far from an ideal situation.]

What about the women?

...The well-to-do might stuck summat else in their hair, but I haven't seen'em in the wigs. An' they don't paste their hair neither, what with them not being in the army.

[He had mentioned it before, but the idea still rankled her. No women in the army. Not that she ever had any desire to be a Peacekeeper. But she had had ever desire to fight against the Capitol. To be denied that on account of her sex still seemed like a ridiculous notion.

Had she ever asked why though? She stared at the pile of roughly chopped onions on the table. She couldn't remember if she had asked. Or, at least, if he had answered.]

Why not?

[ he clucks his tongue. in truth, there are probably a dozen reasons why it was like that. but he'd seen most of the usual ones personally debunked by his late wife. ]

We're all bloody terrified, ain't we? To let the ladies in and have them show us up. [ it was an unsatisfactory answer; he knows it. so he plucks a few more feathers and takes a deep breath and tries to do one better: ] I've thought on it a great deal since I've arrived. Obviously, the Malnosso have no qualms with recruiting women. But back home...more people die the battles we fight. [ fields littered with corpses. sharpe has personally watched dozens of men wrecked with one bouncing cannonball. ] But there are always young lads to replace'em. If your women go to war, they might die before they ever have a child. And then who would fight the next battle? And the battle after that? Once men like me are grey-haired and too old to lift their swords?

[ it's just about the only satisfactory answer he can come to. after all: ] It ain't like they can't fight. Some of'em. When they're taught how, like any of us are taught.

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