stillplaying | for preemptiveforgiveness

for preemptiveforgiveness

Her life shouldn't be so good. With all of the sins that she's committed in her life, she shouldn't be this happy. It's an odd feeling and at first, Katniss hadn't been certain what it was. Happiness on this kind of scale hadn't been a part of her life in a long time. Since before her father had died. But that fluttering in her chest that she's felt every morning for the past month hadn't been the sign of an oncoming cold but the joy she felt from waking up in Matt's arms. Almost every single morning, the steady rhythm of his heart is the first thing that she hears. His lips have been the first thing she's tasted. His face the first thing she sees.

This might not have been the second chance Matt had had in mind when he initially taken her in but it's better than any other she could ask for. Hard, tricky, terrifying, but still better than any life she let herself picture on the rare occasion Katniss thought there might be something post-Games. What had there been if she was ever let free of the Games? A life of more fighting? Prostitution? Drinking herself to an early death once she was certain that there was enough money in Prim's account to afford college? Or ODing instead. Any life after the Games wasn't going to be a life at all.

But this second chance is better than anything she could ask. Being loved so thoroughly, loving Matt in return. Waking up every morning knowing this man beside her thinks the world of her. It's given her a new kind of courage in which to face the world. She hadn't been afraid to go on subsequent dates with her. She hadn't even thought twice about kissing him in the office one evening, a couple of weeks into their new relationship. Foggy and Karen had been there but she hadn't cared. And that had been liberating. Everything about life has been liberating lately. She's even managed to last the past week at her current job no matter how much she hates waitressing.

Everything has been going well. And shortly after their first date, when she had brought up the idea of being his sidekick again, he hadn't argued. He's taken time out of his normal nightly patrols to work with her instead. Matt's idea of fighting is something much more graceful than the rough and tumble version she had picked up in the ring. It's taken her a while to unlearn a lot of what she had picked up to survive but Katniss is of the opinion that she's progressing. And tonight, when she finally succeeds in knocking Matt off his feet, she feels a sense of pride that she hasn't felt for a long time.

She falls to her knees beside him and leans over to plant a kiss on his lips. "Gotcha," she murmurs against his mouth. "Finally."

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Who needs a SHIELD trainer when you have Matt Murdock to teach you? Personally, Katniss is completely okay with only having Matt as her superhero teacher. He's been tough but fair. She wouldn't be out here with him tonight if he hadn't done his job right. And he had. She feels very prepared to take on this group tonight.

It is a fair trade and one Katniss would be happy to continue for the rest of her life. Hope in return for faith, and some kind of unconditional love no matter what.

"I can look," she responds, already making her way back to Matt and the unconscious guy. She keeps her eyes open for something useful to use. Next time, she should bring duck tape with the rest of her kit. But there is a lot of junk scattered around the rooftop and when she spots a ragged shirt, she picks it up to brign with her. "Will this work?"

He's probably not as technical as a SHIELD trainer, but it's obviously gotten the job done. She's definitely good enough to be out here with him. He suspects she could hold her own even without him out here, but he would worry about her with a group simply because it's easy to get overwhelmed with more than one opponent and they haven't have a chance to practice that.

He really ought to learn how to bring duct tape, but he doesn't often need to gag someone. He generally just knocks them out hard enough they'll stay out for a while. He wants to make certain tonight with Katniss. He knows that things might go more slowly and he's being overly cautious. When she approaches him with the swath of torn fabric, he nods, takes it from her and ties a crude gag around the man's face before letting him slump back down and nodding.

"Two of them are coming up this time," he tells her and gestures to the sides of the door. "I'll get behind the door. You take the side it'll open on." He can judge exactly how hard to knock the guys out and he's secure in the sight of Katniss throwing them off. "We'll knock these two out then go inside."

Technical isn't all that important. All Katniss needs is someone capable of teaching her enough to survive out there in the field. More than that: how to make a difference out there. Given that criteria, she thinks that he's done a good job. Katniss knows that what they're doing right now is dangerous but she still feels safe with Matt by her side.

Knocking a guy out is an effective way of silencing them. She's not certain how long this man will remain unconscious. It was difficult to judge how hard the debris fell on him from another roof. Thankfully, the fabric does seem to do the trick. She looks over the unconscious man with a thoughtful frown. So far, so good.

"Should I smile at them when they open the door?" Katniss teases, grinning in the dark as she takes her place against the wall. Joking helps keep her nerves in check. Her heart feels as if it's beating way too fast and she knows that Matt has to be aware of that. She can do this. It's everything they've been practicing for these past few months. "Or just bat my eyelashes?"

That's really all he cares about: making a difference. What Matt does is always dangerous, but he's glad that Katniss feels safe, as long as she's not letting her guard drop. He won't knowingly ever put her into something that he doesn't think she can handle, that they can handle. That being said, he knows a day will come when they walk into something more dangerous than he expected.

That's exactly why they're tying him up and gagging him.

He can't help but smirk at her teasing. "Since I'm planning on hitting him anyway, go ahead and try both," he jokes, though he's not entirely sure how he'd feel about Katniss honestly flirting with someone or someone flirting with her in return. He's got the feeling he'd want to hit the man then as well. He knows how nervous she is, can hear her heart beating too fast and it's actually a good sign. She should be a little nervous.

She knows better than to let her guard down. If something happens to Matt, she's on her own here tonight. It would be up to her to get both herself and Matt out of there alive. She has to be ready for anything. But she still feels some level of safety so long as Matt's around. It's just something he tends to provide for her whether he realizes it or not.

It's a strange place to feel a surge of love towards Matt but that's exactly what she feels when he responds. So he'd want to hit any guy she flirted with. Does that mean he'd want to hit any guy flirting with her? It's kind of a nice feeling to know that he'd feel that jealousy so keenly and it's exactly the kind of feeling she needs to calm her nerves a little. "Maybe I'll stick to pointing an arrow at them."

Which is exactly what she does as soon as the door opens and the two men step out onto the roof.

Really, that's the most important thing out here: don't let your guard down. It takes care of a surprising amount of things. He definitely doesn't want to put her in the situation where she has to be responsible for both of them. In that case, he's pleased that he makes her feel safe. She should always, at least about some things, even in a situation like this.

Maybe, but he's gotten accustomed to feeling those sort of surges of love toward her in all sorts of places. He hasn't gotten used to exactly how it feels, and he doesn't think he ever will, but he knows he'll have them. Jealousy, however, is different. He's not generally a jealous person, but he certainly feels it in regards to Katniss. Something else to confess the next time he goes to see Father Antram. "i like that option better," he tells her in a whisper moments before the door opens. He lets her point the arrow and he takes out the first guy almost before the second one realizes he's there. He certainly realizes it though when Matt hits him on the temple with the end of his stick.

"Okay. Let's go. I'm counting eight heartbeats inside. They'll be armed so be careful. If we can find a place for you to target the head guy from above, I want you to do that. You can pick off others as you need to. "

Nor does Katniss want to put Matt in a similar situation, where he would be too busy taking care of her instead of focusing on the mission at hand. that would put them both in harm's way. More than that, it might show to Matt that she isn't actually ready to be out here with him. Or that he shouldn't have a partner at all. She doesn't want any of that to happen. The last thing she'll do tonight is let her guard down.

Of everything that she's ever felt, she likes the way love feels most of all. She likes the way loving Matt makes her feel: good, whole, necessary. A part of something that's more than herself. Loved just as much in return. Katniss doesn't think that there's any reason for Matt to confess his jealousy to the priest. Personally, she likes it. In her opinion, it just confirms how much he loves her. But she doesn't understand most of what being a good Catholic boy entails, especially when Foggy jokes about happiness being dangerous to Catholics. He ought to be happy. They both should be.

Once the two men are dealt with, Katniss quietly steps into the stairwell to peer down. Though a light bulb flickers up ahead, the stairs aren't all that well-lit. She can't see anything down below. "I'll take your word," she says, squinting to see if that helps. "How far down are they?"

He thinks they'll make a good team out here; they certainly make a good team in the rest of their lives.

There's a reason people are willing to risk such pain for love and Matt hadn't ever really realized how worth it love was. He hopes to never be subjected to pain because of Katniss' love, but he also knows that it's worth it if he is. It'd been half a joke. Jealousy is a sin, but Matt has much bigger sins to confess every week. Foggy jokes about that because guilt is an emotion that Catholics are much more comfortable with. They believe happiness is a sign that they're doing something wrong. It's a bit of an exaggeration, but holds a grain of truth.

Matt's first instinct is to break the lightbulb because he doesn't need it and it gives him an advantage, but Katniss does need it so he lets it flicker. "Two floors," he tells her then starts to creep down the stairs silently, gesturing for her to follow.

That they do. And Katniss would want it no other way.

Katniss had suspected that it could b worth the risk. Though it isn't the same kind of love, and the sort of pain that was inflicted on her differed, she did her best to survive in that arena because of the love that she felt towards her sister. Loving Matt is worth it knowing the risks involved. He's the devil of Hell's Kitchen. There's a good chance that she might lose him sooner rather than later. She doesn't care. It's flattering to know Matt thinks the same. She'll do her best to make certain he never experiences pain because of her. He has enough of that, and enough guilt, in his life. Katniss doesn't need to add to it.

"Okay," she whispers, pleased that he doesn't destroy the light bulb. Normally, she'd push him to take any advantage that he can. It would do her no good though. Katniss follows him down the stairs, careful to keep her footsteps as light as possible as she moves. Her grip on her weapon remains secure and her left hand hovers by her quiver. She has every intention of being ready in a moment's notice.

Matt wouldn't either.

She's probably right. As the devil of Hell's Kitchen, she probably will lose him sooner rather than later, but if it's any consolation, he doesn't want her to lose him. He's more careful now than he was before, not as reckless by half and it's because of her. He wants to come home to her every night because she's made his life something good, given him something to live for other than saving the people of this city.

He stops abruptly, hand going out to stop her as well. He gestures to the hallway going off to the right and holds up two fingers. Two guys down the hall. He nods to her, letting her take the lead. If she's quiet enough she can take out one or both of them before either of them realize what's going on.

It's a sad reality that they've both found themselves in but it's their reality nonetheless. He's the Devil of Hell's kitchen and she fell in love with him knowing full well that being a hero is written in his DNA. Katniss knows that he doesn't want her to live a life alone but things happen. Life is far from perfect. But it does make every night he comes home to her after fighting crime more precious. Not many people get to love someone as increadible as him.

She nearly collides into him when he stops abruptly. There are some things that they haven't exactly practiced enough yet. His hand sticking out helps. That and her quick reactions from her days in the arena keep her from messing any of this up. She notices the two fingers and whispers "okay" low enough that only he can hear. Katniss slips in front of him, taking out an arrow and notching it. She peers down the hall, frowning when she notices that the two guys aren't standing near any debris like the man on the roof. Matt's against killing. She can't kill them. And she'll do her best not to. Katniss takes a deep breath to steady herself. She can do this. The first arrow flies by, grazing the first man's temple. One down. She pulls another arrow out and aims at the second man. "Don't move," she whispers in a silent prayer as she aims at the next man. "Please don't move."

He's not incredible. He's just a man. Katniss is the incredible one for putting up with him, for loving him the way she does. He knows that living with him isn't easy and loving him is even harder.

They'll get better and they'll know what to work on after tonight. He's not used to working with anyone either and he probably should have signaled her before he stopped. He listens to her shot, knows it hits the man's temple and leaves him alive. He hears her whisper (though he knows it's quiet enough that no one else does). He listens to the second man go down and and steps up behind Katniss, bowing his head to graze her cheek with his lips. "After this, I'm buying you ice cream."

Because clearly that's what's necessary.

He steps in front of her and continues down the hall to the next stairwell. "Four downstairs," he says. "Plus head guy we're really aiming for."

He's so far from just a man. That he doesn't realize that only adds to his appeal. Living with him isn't always easy but given her previous life, Katniss has absolutely no complaints. And while living with him might be an option, loving him isn't one at all. It's something that had hit her hard early on and now just comes so naturally to her. Life is hard. That love can be too is no surprise.

The next time she accompanies him on one of his patrols will be easier. As will the time after that, and so on. Archery lessons as a child had taught her how practice makes perfect. Katniss won't quit because they've encountered a few hiccups this time around. Not everything's going wrong. Based on Matt's reaction to her shots, neither man died. The risk worked. "You better."

Ice cream makes life all the richer.

She follows him down the hall, careful to keep a little more distance between them this time in case he stops short again. It helps knowing that he can hear her whisper even from a distance. "What do you want to do with them?"

Growing up, they're all told that love conquers all, which somehow leaves one to believe that love is easy. It must be if it's all powerful, right? It's only with time and experience that one begins to realize that nothing with power is easy, love included. He remembers a line from a movie 'if it were easy, it wouldn't be worth as much' and he tries to remind himself of that when anything gets hard: love, either of his jobs, life.

She's done a fantastic job of not killing anyone. He needs to see about getting her some taser style arrows or something like that. Even a crossbow with different sorts of bolts would help.. He grins at her 'threat'. "Yes, Ma'am," he whispers in return.

Always.

He hears her whisper and he responds, turning his face a bit so that she can hear him whisper in return. "Look at the men closest to the boss. Shoot one of them in his shooting arm with an arrow. He'll be wearing his gun on that hip, then hold an arrow on their boss. If I need help, shoot them in the leg. It'll slow them down enough and isn't usually fatal."

Really, these are things they need to go over some time when they're not on a mission, but Matt hadn't thought about talking her through these things because he doesn't often use weapons, or if he does they're something he picks up in the area.

Growing up, they're told a lot of things. A lot of things that wind up not necessarily being true. And a lot of things that wind up being true. Love can conquer all - if you actually work hard at making love succeed. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Katniss doesn't know what movie that's from, either, but it's true. So very true.

Taser arrows aren't the kind of arrows she's ever considered using before. Any kind of trick arrows, like the ones Hawkeye has, seem a little beyond her. To start off with, she wouldn't even know where to purchase them. But they would help. A lot more than these tricky shots she's currently taking. They'll have to have a talk about that. Over ice cream. Or after sex. Something like that.

It's not that hard to determine which of the men in the room is the one in charge. The way the others all seem to defer to him make it rather obvious. She watches the men that stand around him. Soon enough, her eyes fall on the man with the holster hanging off of his hip. She picks an arrow from her quiver. "Aiming," Katniss whispers as she pulls back on the string. She doesn't bother to tell him when she lets go. The man's shocked scream is signal enough.

He'll have to trust her that love can conquer all because she's the first sign he's seen that it's remotely true. He's pretty sure that he loved Electra at one point, but he's also certain that she didn't love or respect the person that he is. That one, he would definitely agree with. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. He's not sure what that's from either.

He'll have to talk to his guy. He's pretty sure that he can make something for her. Maybe even sedative arrows, anything to knock people out without actually killing them. Well, he knows which one he's voting for. Ice cream doesn't stand a chance.

Matt can hear the bowstring snap; he can hear the arrow slicing through the air and thudding into the man's arm. He's got just enough time to whisper 'good job' before he jumps over the railing, lands on his feet and launches into action, disarming and knocking guards unconscious. The boss raises a gun and Matt stops. "I wouldn't. I've got a lady with an arrow aimed at your head right now and she doesn't miss. Put the gun down."

There's a tense moment where the man is trying to decide what to do. He's got one body guard still conscious, but his shooting arm is messed up and he's in a lot of pain. Matt turns his head toward that guy. "Leave the arrow in. Pulling it out is going to cause a lot more damage."

The boss lowers the gun and Matt looks up. "Mockingjay, why don't you come down here with me. Keep the arrow trained on his head."

It hasn't been all that long. Months, really. But they've been long enough to make Katniss think that maybe love is real. Maybe it's something that they both deserve. And maybe it's something that they've finally found. She can't say why now, why they work so well, but it's there. It hasn't been easy and it's never going to be easy but maybe for them, they'll never have to find someone else to love.

He definitely will have to talk to his guy. If he can make anything as useful as the suit that she's wearing now, Katniss has every bit of faith that he'll make her some amazing arrows. And for treating her to such a lovely (albeit useful) gift, she'll make sure to reward him properly. Ice cream and sex. Why pick one?

Katniss barely hears him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, his compliment registers. She's too distracted watching Matt in action. Her arrow is aimed at the man exactly as told and she does her best to focus. His moves are graceful and beautiful, something she admires. But his life (both their lives) are also at stake. Her draw on the bowstring doesn't waver, even as she steps out of the shadows.

"I don't miss," she tells the boss. She smiles sweetly at the man. There's a challenge hidden in that grin, almost as if she's asking him to test her skill. From the corner of her eye, Katniss looks at Matt. "Daredevil?"

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for preemptiveforgiveness

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