19th Game [written/action]

[stillplaying]

[How long has it been since she last opened the journal not to peer at the other entries but to make one herself? It feels much longer than the couple of months that somehow managed to move by so quickly. Forever, perhaps. And yet, in that short time, so much has changed. People have left. More importantly, people have arrived. Rue, Johanna, Peeta... And none of them have yet disappeared.

Two months of knowing Peeta's so close. A trip across town to his apartment. Walking by the bakery. His memory is no longer a ghost that haunts her. Instead, he's something real. Something entirely too real. Two months and she hasn't yet figured out if she's relieved to have him back. Or if she's more frightened of losing him. There's limits to the filial magic, as she's starting to discover. And those limits worry her. Will she lose him all over again? Lose Prim or Rue or Richard or Teddy?

If there's one thing that hasn't changed in these two months, it's her growing weariness of the disappearances in Luceti. Even Sokka, Sokka who had been here for four or more years, was now gone.

Who was next?

It's a nightmare that wakes her. A nightmare of losing everyone she loves. Watching them die at the hands of lizard mutts, necks ripped out by wild dog-like creatures with the eyes of lost children, others murdered in drafts against the Third Party. She wakes with a start, skin covered in a sheen of sweat, eyes wide and frantic. Her throat is soar from screaming in her sleep and she gasps. When her senses return, she turns on a lamp and reaches for her journal.

She can't lose anyone. Not even to something like returning home. But she takes the coward's way out and she pens her thoughts rather than admit to them aloud:]

There was someone here once who asked if it was possible to bring people here from home. Has anyone ever tried the opposite? Tried to keep people here instead?


action;

[That done, she throws on a leather jacket and boots over her sleeping clothing. She can't go back to sleep. Not right now. And she can't be in here either, not wanting to disturb her housemates any more than she already might have. Her bow is slung over a shoulder with her quiver, just in case.

It's cold out there but she doesn't care. There's something comforting about being alone in the night, no longer surrounded by oppressing walls. The nightmares don't seem so bad now, away from her bed. She can almost pretend things will be okay, regardless of whatever responses she might have to her inquiry when she gets back.]

Comments

aslkdfjsdl omg i totally wrote a reply to this ages ago WHY DID IT NOT POST

[stillplaying]

[She had been determined not to wake anyone upon leaving the house. After regaining control over her screams, taking deep breath after deep breath, she had quietly gotten dressed in her new room. Slipped on her boots, grabbed her bow and arrow, and sneaked out of the house without making much of a sound.

Which is why she hadn't expected anyone to be following her. But that feeling of eyes watching her doesn't let up. She's about to reach for her bow, to shout at whoever might be there to come out, when she hears the whistles. The four notes that signal ally.

She turns around slowly instead, eyes never leaving the canopy of the trees. Rue must be there somewhere.]

[Action] Awww, it's okay! <3

[rutagraveolens]

[The whistle echoes through the still forest two more times as Rue moves closer in, dropping into view once she's caught up with Katniss.]

Couldn't sleep?

['too' is the unspoken word. She's young, but not too young to escape her own nightmares from the arena, of her fear of dying and disappearing from the world.]

[Action]

[stillplaying]

[She wonders again if she accidentally woke Rue with her nightmares and screams. Though she had attempted to be as quiet as possible leaving the house, there was only so much she could do. But Rue had been through the Games as well. It was impossible to walk away from something like that without internal scars as well as external.

So she smiles ruefully and nods.]

You too?

[Action]

[rutagraveolens]

[Rue nods as well. She's been doing the best she can with coping with nightmares, but she's only a girl. It shows in her eyes, her tired expression, her terse smile.]

Can I go hunting with you?

[Action]

[stillplaying]

[It's too early an hour to hunt yet. The sun has yet to rise and most of Katniss' typical prey will still be sleeping. The bow and quiver are with her out of habit. Like a safety blanket, on her worst days - or nights - she can't go anywhere without them.

But she can't give Rue an outright no for an answer. Though she doesn't know yet if she'll have the energy come morning, she nods.]

If I go today. If not, tomorrow.