stillplaying | 17th Game [video]

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17th Game [video]

[It had almost come as a relief when the droids had appeared on her doorstep the day after the shift ended. She hadn't wanted to see Prim. Prim, that darling sister that meant the world to her. The girl that she would have died for. Nearly had on multiple times. Prim, who she had forgotten all about during the shift. It hadn't ever been that bad when Peeta had been here. The Malnosso had been kind in that regard, always let them know each other in some form. Would it have been so much to ask to keep Prim her sister regardless?

Apparently.

It would be easy to say she deserved that. Deserved to experience love again - real love like she had had with Peeta - only to discover that it had been as imaginary as her last relationship. Jim didn't love her. She didn't love him. The whole idea of an engagement had been a lie. Everything had been fake. Nothing real. Maybe, maybe under other circumstances, it would have been easier to accept. If matters hadn't ended with Sokka the way they had, if those wounds hadn't still been so raw, maybe...

There had been no argument when the droids appeared. Going meant avoiding those encounters. Meant not admitting she had forgotten her sister or an awkward discussion with Jim. It meant maybe trying to find Effie, make certain that she was alright. It was the closest thing short to going on a mission that she could get to leaving Luceti.

Prim would be alright. She'd have Richard and Teddy. People who hadn't forgotten her the way Katniss had.

But time with the Malnosso came to an end all too soon. And as she stared at the familiar walls of the painted room, the trees of her beloved forests outside of District 12, she felt almost tempted to run away. Go on one of those missions. Not have to see anyone here. Pick up the pieces of the mess she had made her life before the last shift. Or the mess that had come as a result.

She had never been good at running away though. Not even when they should have before the Quarter Quell, before Panem went insane. Damn it. Damn, damn, damn.

Sighing, Katniss picked up the journal and turned on the device. She brushed a stray strand from the braid out of her face and quirked her lips a little to the right. It would be better this way, announcing her return through the journal rather than being brave enough to seek them out.]

For anyone who might care, I'm back.

[Dare she even ask what more she might have missed?]

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[ The hug was returned in an instant. Prim squeezed tight, wishing that in that falsely perfect world she'd had the person she loved most - and Richard, too, who hadn't even been a passing acquaintance of any sort. She hadn't remembered people she'd met here, but...forgetting Katniss had been worse. ]

It was so...strange. I planned a dance. And went to one. I didn't know people did that - I mean, for school, like that.

[She smiled softly at the words. She hadn't known that, either. Certainly, they had no dances at the school in District 12. But something like that didn't surprise her. Not anymore. Most of those other worlds were so peaceful compared to the Panem they had grown up with, something so silly and ridiculous as a school dance made sense.

But it was even better hearing the words come from Prim. Being able to imagine a life for her sister that hadn't been the dangerous world they had grown up in.]

Did you have fun?

I did. [ It was a surprising admission. She wouldn't trade the life she'd had for the life Luceti Valley had given her, because of the people who were missing, and the things she'd lost, but...

...it hadn't been a bad week, entirely. ] I even went to the dance, with Chouji. It was sort of - they're not bad memories, I don't think. They're not mine, except last week, but.

There's a school here. [At least, she thinks that it's still functioning. She remembers how eager Rue had been to go. And how uncomfortable Katniss had been with that thought initially. But the people who helped run the school seemed safe enough. Rue had been fine, after all.] Maybe they'll do something similar.

Maybe. I mean...I've been thinking about going to it. Although I like being free to learn from the clinic doctors.

[ But she'd like to learn other stuff, too. ]

Was your - was it okay, how you were?

You could do both.

[She had done so in District 13, hadn't she? And Katniss didn't think the schoolwork here was all that demanding. Not that she paid all that much attention to the work Rue brought home. Or bothered to attend the school herself. But she was certain Prim would be able to pull it off. She was dedicated enough.

Katniss gave Prim a small, encouraging smile before answering her question.] It was. I was... I was happy.

I will, then. Talk to the teachers, and...

[ Enroll. See what she can learn.

Happy. It's somehow horrible, that this place keeps making Katniss happy - because each time, it's a lie. Prim wishes Katniss were happy, yes, but...only if it were the truth. ]

I think...I like this better. With our house, and Richard. You. Buttercup and India.

I like it, too.

[At least she can admit to that much. And mean it. It's a different sort of happiness, living with her sister and Richard and the animals. But it's a peaceful, important sort. Another life she never expected to have. Didn't think that she necessarily deserved sometimes.

She wouldn't want it any other way. Except, perhaps, to have Peeta here as well.]

The addition's coming along well.

Do you think we'll have it done by winter?

[ She's not really sure about building things. At least - not in terms of judging how long they'll take. ]

Yeah. [She smiles along with the words, wrapping an arm around Prim's shoulder to lead her sister back to the bed. She doubts that her sister's going anywhere anytime soon. Not when they haven't seen each other in the past couple of weeks.] And if it isn't, maybe...

[She takes a deep breath. It's hard, still, suggesting things like asking for aid. Knowing it'll be given without anyone expecting anything in return.] ...maybe we could ask for help?

[ Asking for help. Prim can already think of many people who would offer aid without asking for anything at all in return, and it's almost a surprise. Even though they would get help at Twelve sometimes, there was always something given back.

In Luceti, that's somehow not the case.

She lets herself be led back to the bed, leaning into Katniss. ] I think we could. Chouji, Rapunzel, Teddy, everyone - they'd help if we asked, you know.

I know.

[It just still feels strange. To ask for help. Knowing they'd never expect anything in return. Especially when she still waits for the day for everything to backfire on her. For things to be back to the normal she grew up in.]

They'd do so without hesitation.

But then - [ Prim smiles a little, because this is something she can smile about ] - I'd help them if they asked, too.

Or if they didn't. I think that's...nice.

Me too.

[Some of them, people like Richard or Teddy, she'd even die for. People who had grown to be more than friends to her. The family she hadn't asked for. A father. A brother. She wouldn't even question helping them. Not for a second.]

They make it worth it, I think.

[ Being here.

...More than that, being alive made it worth it, but...

...for the people who still lived, elsewhere. ]

You make it worth it.

[She hugs her sister closer to her side as she says that. Every word is meant. For as long as Prim's here, Katniss has no intention of going anywhere. Of ever abandoning her or losing her again. And she's determined not to. Not to lose her to death once more.

Her sister deserves to grow old. To have the life she should have had.]

[ Prim hugs back, pressing close to Katniss' side and leaning her head against her sister's shoulder.

Back home, she doesn't get to do this, does she? Because she's not there any longer, when Katniss came from. And Prim knows it. They both do. Back home, for the short amount of time when she hadn't known if Katniss was alive or dead... ]

You, too. I love you, Katniss.

[ That will always be true, regardless of anything else Luceti brings. ]

I love you too, Prim.

[Somehow, she manages to say the words without choking up. But there are tears in her eyes. These are words she thought that she might never get the chance to say again. Will never get to say again if Prim ever leaves. And in that moment, as she tucks Prim safe to her side, she vows she'll do whatever is in her power to keep her sister here.

It's not a perfect world. But neither was the Seam. And it's now the only world Prim has. Her sister deserves everything life denied her. Every little thing.]

Forever.

I know.

[ And she does know that. If anything is certain in the world, it's that Katniss loves her, always.

Someone else loves her, too: denied affection for too long, Buttercup sees fit for this moment to be the one he enters the room, searching out his favorite Everdeen. Completely ignoring the mood, he'll hop up to the bed and then situate himself in Prim's lap, secure in the knowledge that is His Place. ]

[Even Buttercup's presence isn't enough to sour Katniss' mood. Not now. Not tonight. She's home. She's with her sister in a room painted with scenes of the forests she left behind in Panem. There's no worry about kidnappings or shifts or any of the sort any time soon.

She can relax. Just for a few moments. Close her eyes and rest her cheek against Prim's head and maybe, eventually, fall asleep.

Safe and sound. Just like when they were little.]

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17th Game [video]

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