stillplaying | 15th Game [action/video]

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15th Game [action/video]

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[She awoke that morning to find them gone. Those beautiful, amazing iridescent wings were gone. And in their place, the damn mockingjay wings had returned. Small, useless. Reminders of a life she would have happily left behind. She fit easily on the couch again, her bed of the last two months. But at the cost of her flight. At the cost of being grounded once more.

If it was not for the overwhelming guilt she felt shortly after - guilt for cancelling her sister's party under paranoia of too many people in their living quarters - she probably would have spent the day sulking. And it was tempting, so tempting to just disappear into the woods all day. But she couldn't afford that luxury. Not anymore. If her wings were gone, that meant that there was a good chance the spirit possession had ended. Life had returned to what passed for normal around here.

And she had a party to plan.

But first, she had a sister to seek out. And surprise with breakfast in bed: pancakes and maple syrup, with a mug of hot chocolate and glass of orange juice.

Later that day, Katniss could be found going about her regular daily schedule. Spending time hunting in the woods, guitar lessons at Cloud Nine, browsing the various shops. The recent event reminded her that Prim was relatively undefended here, a situation that needed to be corrected. Even a small knife, anything to give her sister the advantage if Katniss wasn't around to protect her. Food for the party was also a necessity. As well as any remaining decorations.

It wasn't until later that night that she finally opened up her journal. But rather than being at home, she's made herself comfortable in one of the newfeather watch towers, where she had been stashing most of the party supplies prior to the possessions. She opened the journal and made certain to key in a quick filter before recording:]

[Video - filtered away from Primrose Everdeen]

I wasn't exactly myself when I cancelled Prim's birthday last week. But I want to make it up to her. She deserves this party. More than anyone I know. She's fourteen now and... [She had to pause for a moment, force a smile on her face and block all memories of her sister burning to death from her mind.] She's never had a real party before.

So, this Saturday. At House 43. 5 P.M. You don't have to bring any kind of gift. It's not necessary. It's enough to have people there. To have the sort of celebration she never had back in District 12. If you know me, or you know Prim, I'd like you to come.

[She realized that she was taking a big risk saying that. And it did make her uncomfortable, the thought of so many people in her living space. But a party was supposed to have people in it, isn't it? A lot of people. And the more there, the more that want to celebrate the life Prim should have had, the better. Prim deserved the world.]

Rapunzel? Would you still be willing to make that cake? Teddy, will you still help with music? [Katniss paused, tilting her head thoughtfully and biting her lip. Was there anything else that she was missing? What else was necessary for planning a party? She already felt as if she owed so many people so much. She hated accumulating more debt. But for Prim, it was worth it/] And Aang, would you mind helping to decor-

I need someone to distract Prim that day, too.

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She's mentioned the Games before.

[A sudden pause.]

...You aren't one of the people she...uh...helped, were you?

[There was no reason to lie. She has mentioned her affiliation with the Games on the journal before. How she had volunteered to take her sister's place. The way she had forced the rules so that she and Peeta would be declared Victors of the 74th Annual Hunger Games together. All he'd have to do is go back and look if he really wanted to know.]

I was. Three years ago. [She gave a small laugh, bitter and dry.] District 12's first volunteer.

[He's had no reason to look, because he had no reason to tie the two together until just now. Still, he'd heard enough from Effie to guess at what went on. It was one of the reasons that he had a hard time just treating her like another person a lot of the times.]

...I don't know if knowing that makes it worse or better.

I'd give you my sympathies, but I'm not sure if that's appropriate or wanted.

[She still didn't know, either. But she had no choice. How could she live with herself if she allowed Prim to go into the Games? Sweet, innocent Prim who cried whenever Katniss cried. Who couldn't allow even the slightest harm to come to any animal in her care. Her sister was a healer, not a killer. And she would never had survived even one minute within that arena.

But she didn't want this man to think her a cold blooded killer. A Career Tribute instead of a girl desperate to save the one family member left in her life that had meant anything to her.]

Effie had drawn Prim's name from the bowl. I couldn't let her go. It was my decision to take her place.

That's a brave decision to make, and selfless. Not a lot of people would do that, even for family.

[She's happy that this whole discussion is on audio. That he can't see just how uncomfortable she looks at that sort of praise. Because in her eyes, there was absolutely nothing selfless about it. Or brave. Because she didn't think she had any other choice.

Their father was dead. Their mother had been unresponsive. Prim had been the only family she had had left. Family that she had spent the last five years looking out for.]

No it wasn't. It was my responsibility. That's all.

[There's a pause.]

You sound a lot like someone I know.

[He won't however, tell her it was him. But he does get her response, and the reasoning behind it. You do it, because it's right.]

[That wasn't a comment she heard often. And she wasn't certain if she ought to take that as a compliment or pity whoever it was that she reminded him of. Because she wasn't a good person. Wasn't someone who ought to be admired in any sort of way.

She shook her head, biting back any sort of self-deprecating comment.]

Yeah?

Yeah.

And I bet you don't think you deserve the praise, either.

[It was exactly that. Her eyes narrowed at the response, making her consider just how much his friend must be like her. No, of course she didn't deserve any praise. She never did.]

Yeah.

That's all right. [That's said quietly] Just remember that sometimes, the people saying it just don't know any other way to say a simple thank you. It doesn't make you a hero, but it can lighten the world for someone else because they know you did something that maybe they couldn't. And it's kinda human nature to react that way.

[No. Of course it doesn't make her a hero. She didn't care what the people of Panem might think - or might have thought prior to her assassination of President Coin. She's not a hero, Mockingjay or not. She doesn't want to be seen as one. Doesn't want any of that sort of praise.]

It's not that easy.

I know.

[Did he? Or had he just observed this difficulty from watching his friend? It made her skeptical.]

How?

Experience. It's just how people are.

[She's welcome to put two and two together however she likes.]

[Which she does, albeit a little slowly. She stares at the journal quietly, eyeing the image and replaying his words in her head. Experience. It's how people are.

And, slowly, she grins just a little.] People like you?

Something like that, yeah.

[Smart girl. Derek admires that.]

[Her grin broadens a little at the affirmative. Though she's curious now. Curious what made him this way, made him so similar to her in some respects. Because Katniss knows the events that shaped her life. Knows them all too well. They tend to replay every night in her head, impossible to cast away.

But she hates those sorts of questions. And that's enough to keep her from asking her own. Instead, she chuckles a little.] Sorry to hear that.

Comes with the job. And it could be worse. There are those that are on the other end of the spectrum, and that can get messy.

[especially when you wind up in danger for your life by the same people who'd hired you to solve their problem for them.]

[Whatever kind of job this is, she's not entirely certain she wants to know. Why anyone would want to do something that makes them like this, makes them doubtful of any sort of goodness they might posses, she doesn't know. The Hunger Games hadn't been her choice. And what choice, really, did she have in her participation in the uprising? It had been a way to protect Peeta, to end the tyranny of the Capitol.

There hadn't been much of a choice.]

Oh.

It happens. People don't always understand what's involved in the situation, even if you try to explain it to them ahead of time.

[Derek had had slightly more choice than her; either forget how he found out about vampires and go about his life, ignoring the fact that they were out there, or get involved because not only did he know, but he had the capability to take them on when others didn't.

He didn't have to choose to take the job; he just couldn't stand by knowing that other people were suffering from something he could fight against.

Better it was him than someone else.]

[And even when you think you might have understood, you didn't. Matters turn out to be different. No matter how hard you tried, you really couldn't control everything. Or everyone around you.

It was a hard lesson learned at an early age. A lesson learned again and again in the years since.]

Sometimes, they just don't want to.

Also very true, unfortunately.

Yeah.

[Very true. And not something she thought would ever change. Reasons why it was better to keep to yourself ultimately. Not to let other people in. And yet, she had stupidly gone and broken that rule since arriving here. For now, it seemed to be okay. People here seemed to be okay.]

So are you expecting a lot of people to show up?

15th Game [action/video]

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