stillplaying | 15th Game [action/video]

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15th Game [action/video]

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[She awoke that morning to find them gone. Those beautiful, amazing iridescent wings were gone. And in their place, the damn mockingjay wings had returned. Small, useless. Reminders of a life she would have happily left behind. She fit easily on the couch again, her bed of the last two months. But at the cost of her flight. At the cost of being grounded once more.

If it was not for the overwhelming guilt she felt shortly after - guilt for cancelling her sister's party under paranoia of too many people in their living quarters - she probably would have spent the day sulking. And it was tempting, so tempting to just disappear into the woods all day. But she couldn't afford that luxury. Not anymore. If her wings were gone, that meant that there was a good chance the spirit possession had ended. Life had returned to what passed for normal around here.

And she had a party to plan.

But first, she had a sister to seek out. And surprise with breakfast in bed: pancakes and maple syrup, with a mug of hot chocolate and glass of orange juice.

Later that day, Katniss could be found going about her regular daily schedule. Spending time hunting in the woods, guitar lessons at Cloud Nine, browsing the various shops. The recent event reminded her that Prim was relatively undefended here, a situation that needed to be corrected. Even a small knife, anything to give her sister the advantage if Katniss wasn't around to protect her. Food for the party was also a necessity. As well as any remaining decorations.

It wasn't until later that night that she finally opened up her journal. But rather than being at home, she's made herself comfortable in one of the newfeather watch towers, where she had been stashing most of the party supplies prior to the possessions. She opened the journal and made certain to key in a quick filter before recording:]

[Video - filtered away from Primrose Everdeen]

I wasn't exactly myself when I cancelled Prim's birthday last week. But I want to make it up to her. She deserves this party. More than anyone I know. She's fourteen now and... [She had to pause for a moment, force a smile on her face and block all memories of her sister burning to death from her mind.] She's never had a real party before.

So, this Saturday. At House 43. 5 P.M. You don't have to bring any kind of gift. It's not necessary. It's enough to have people there. To have the sort of celebration she never had back in District 12. If you know me, or you know Prim, I'd like you to come.

[She realized that she was taking a big risk saying that. And it did make her uncomfortable, the thought of so many people in her living space. But a party was supposed to have people in it, isn't it? A lot of people. And the more there, the more that want to celebrate the life Prim should have had, the better. Prim deserved the world.]

Rapunzel? Would you still be willing to make that cake? Teddy, will you still help with music? [Katniss paused, tilting her head thoughtfully and biting her lip. Was there anything else that she was missing? What else was necessary for planning a party? She already felt as if she owed so many people so much. She hated accumulating more debt. But for Prim, it was worth it/] And Aang, would you mind helping to decor-

I need someone to distract Prim that day, too.

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I have never lain with a woman in this place, Katnss. It hasn't been something I needed to check.

[He shrugged and allowed his smile to soften, to gentle his teasing since this was so very mortifying for her.]

Good. Not that I do not think you would make an excellent mother, in time, with someone you truly care for- but this is no place for children or having them.

[She shook her head quickly, not understanding at all why he might think such a thing. She wouldn't make a good mother. Wouldn't have the patience or the aptitude to love like a child needed. And she couldn't, wouldn't, ever be able to bring a child to such a dangerous world. Be it Luceti or Panem.]

I'm never having kids. [The words were said with absolute certainty as she finally met her gaze.] And I'm not falling in love again. With anyone.

[The hand on her shoulder slid to her back, rubbing in small circles. He'd strayed into something here and would rather stray back out of it.]

Then you are a far wiser person than I. [Not that he wanted children. Not that he knew what he might do with them. But the loving bit, that. That he could do without at the moment.

Life was much simpler without.]

[She shrugged. She didn't know if she was so wise. Selfish, maybe. Selfish and preoccupied with her own survival. Losing Peeta had showed just how much love didn't work for her. How much it put her at risk. She couldn't afford that sort of weakness again.]

Maybe.

Most certainly. You've a relationship that will not bring you to harm. I've...

[He waved a hand vaguely, batting away the thought.]

Complications. At this moment you are far, far wiser than I.

[She wasn't that naive. Eventually, she knew, this relationship with Sokka would bring her pain. Maybe not pain like what she felt with losing Peeta, but pain nonetheless. Whenever it ended - because nothing good lasted forever in her life - she knew she'd be hurt. How could you not be upset when anything good came to an end?

But she pushed those thoughts away. Because she had to focus on the now. Had to for Prim's sake.

And it helped to have this distraction of whatever it was bothering Zevran.]

Is everything okay?

Not as much as I might have liked.

[He scrubbed a hand along his face, weary and uncertain as to how much detail he ought to go into. The argument, the relatively understated marriage, the murder. It had been a busy month, now that he thought on it.]

Jack, Eugene, and I are...arguing.

[That was safe enough.]

It is difficult to explain my view of things when we are quite literally from very different worlds.

[It still amazed her that she could possibly have a relationship not with one, but with two, people. The physical logistics puzzled her when she dared to think about them. When she could bring herself to even possibly entertaining such thoughts without feeling too embarrassed. Let alone the emotional consequences.

Maybe he was right. Maybe she was the wiser one. This... whatever had developed with Sokka was something she could do. It was fun. Comforting. Everything she wanted right now.

If she thought about it, she wasn't all that surprise to hear he was having troubles.]

What kind of htings?

[He never had a form of reference for relationships. There had been Rinna, bright, brilliant, wonderful Rinna but even then they were not at all monogamous. It wasn't in them to do so. This was new and strange and as far from anything he'd ever done before. Why not attempt it with two? They fit, at least when they fit well; the rest of the time was confusion and miscommunication but it had never before been this bad.]

Primarily? Isaac. My reluctance to demonize him or blame him for things not in his power to control.

[Issac.

The mention of his name made her uncomfortable. Not so much for the roll he played in Zevran's death during the draft, but for more recent events. For the way he had attempted to manipulate her during the possession. And even though she knew he probably couldn't fully be blamed for that, she still felt reluctant to go near him anytime soon.

Still, she had to wonder what else he might have done. Especially to people so important in Zevran's life.]

The draft?

The week we sent possessed. He attacked and frightened Jack while not in his right mind.

[Bland, bland, bland, as though commenting upon the weather or an exceptional shot. What it had been had been discussed, recompense made and now- well. He wasn't certain anymore.]

Though what he did for me during the draft is likely something that leaves them uncomfortable as well.

[She hadn't ever meant to tell Zevran what had happened to her during that week. How Issac had used Zevran's image to lure her into a trap. Had convinced her that her friend was dying and that Katniss herself was a horrible person for her refusal to cooperate. As soon as she had determined for herself that Zevran was indeed alive, she had been furious.

But not furious enough to tell. Not when Issac had been more than a game piece to the spirits. How could she fault anyone for that when she herself had been used by more than one person in the past?

Still, she looked away. Couldn't really bring herself to lie to him in person.]

He tried to attack me, too.

...

[She does not require his protection. Unlike Jack and Eugene she was solid, seasoned, and well accustomed to killing for her own protection. Though their world may have given them the basics they might not be able to handle it so well, and that was saying quite a bit.

Katniss did not require his protection.

Though to know he'd lashed out at her as well-]

I am now feeling slightly less guilty for killing him.

[Hearing that was not something Katniss expected. Her eyes widened and she looked at Zevran in shocked.

She tried her best to quickly rationalize why he might do such a thing. Revenge? Or had Issac attempted to attack him, too? She knew that she wouldn't have hesitated to kill the man had he severely attack her. She had, in fact, used those strange light abilities of her own to defend herself, not hesitating in throwing punches.

But still, he had been a game piece. A pawn to the spirits, much like the rest of them. It was the only reason that she could forgive Issac that easily.]

You killed him?

He asked it of me. Reparations for...quite a few actions of his. Most I knew of. Apparently that was not the case.

[For a moment he looked and sounded exactly as he was that night. Weary. Faintly retched. Ill for what his hands had done. But only a moment did the mask slip before it is smoothed into something wry and faintly amused.]

No doubt he will return in a week and complain that I was too slow about it.

[He had asked for it. For a moment, she has to look away. Remembering that long, long night on top of the Cornucopia, listening to Cato's screams and pleads. Refusing to do anything to end his suffering for hours. Her own first attempt at suicide, begging for Gale to shoot her after Peeta had prevented her from choking down the nightlock pill.

She could, in her own way, understand why Zevran did what he did.

A couple of moments later, she reached out to place a hand on top of his.]

You're a good friend.

[A cracked laugh punched out of him at that, and he almost flinched away from her hand. They were both killers. They were both cruel when occasion called for it. They both knew death and knew despair. But to hear that it had been good when all Jack or Eugene offered him was silent horror. That was bitterly funny to him.]

I try. I hope he finds the answer he wants while he is away.

[When he almost flinched away, she curled her fingers around his hand, tightening her grip. He was too much like her. Too much. She knew her words wouldn't make all that much of a difference. Not when he had still committed an act of murder, whether it was asked for or not.

She knew how much it probably hurt.]

Me too.

I do not know whether I should be relieved or horrified if, upon his return, all issues were settled. Strange to think that as an assassin I'd prefer a problem wasn't solved by murder.

[He shook his head at himself and curled his fingers tighter around hers. Katniss understood. She may not have been raised in it as he had, but she knew death and dying. Knew survival. Could empathize on how exhausting it was when the choice was taken from you.]

But the day is lovely and we should think of more pleasant things, yes?

[There were probably a million of things that she ought to say. Could say in order to make him feel better. In order to calm him down just a little, to reassure him once again that he had done the right thing.

But she also recognized the need to change the subject. Not to dwell on the pain at hand.]

It is. [A quick grin.] What do you think of Artemis' arrow?

I think it is stupidly sexy and I would steal it from you in an instant if I did not like you so much. Tell me who this Artemis is so I might shower her with attention and gifts enough to earn one of my own.

[An arrow for trapping, yes, but sometimes ending the chase makes the kill shot so much simpler. And this did not damage to the prey whatsoever! If only his other traps were quite so clean.]

[Maybe it was rude of her, but she stuck her tongue out at him the moment he mentioned stealing one. Each trick arrow Artemis had made her for her birthday was different, had their own unique ability. And Katniss wouldn't give away any one. Or the grappling hook arrow Clint had given her for Christmas.]

She's one of the other archers here. [Some Katniss found herself feeling a little protective of, some sort of leftover reaction of being her sister during a past shift.] Blonde hair, a couple of years younger than me.

Far too young for me to woo for said arrows- and I do not think my husbands. Partners? Whatever one might call them would approve of such a tactic no matter the state of our argument.

[He shrugged and knelt down to appraise the aim of the second shot- the kill shot. As ever it was flawless. Katniss was a fine huntress, and the best shot he had seen in the past few years.]

I shall have to live in envy. Ridiculous, crippling envy.

[She nodded, flashing him a somewhat sympathetic grin. As much as she trusted Zevran - and she did, more than she trusted most people here - she didn't trust him with her arrows. Wouldn't let anyone else use them. Because they were a gift. An unexpected birthday gift that she treasured alongside every other gift she had received here. Reminders that, for some bizarre reason, people here loved her.]

It also serves as an excellent mark of what I might have to best by way of a gift. Hmm. You've no need of a new bow, you've the kit and gloves I gave you for your Christmas feast and festival...

[There has to be something he could make for her that would be just as useful and ridiculously awesome as these arrows.]

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