And yet he still doesn't let those nights defeat him. Katniss is starting to wonder if there's anything out there that could ever fully destroy his spirit. Not that she ever wants to find out. She never wants to see Matt that broken. Nor does she ever want to be the cause. Not that Katniss thinks that she would be quite yet. But losing him would destroy her. Maybe it's not so far-fetched to think Matt might feel similarly to her. She'll do anything he needs to keep him fighting. To keep him happy, alive, the man she fell in love with.
He already is that person. He's been that person for as long as Katniss has known him. Good, earnest, and honest. She doesn't ever need him to be a successful and rich lawyer to live happily with him. Their life is comfortable and that's all she really needs. Besides, she does hope to someday be able to contribute to the income. Someday, if they're still together a few years down the line. It's what she hopes. Katniss once wanted nothing more than to leave Hell's Kitchen and get back to Brooklyn. Now, she can't imagine ever leaving.
She's never been very materialistic to begin with. Those few items that meant most to her, Katniss had left with her sister before she left for the fake au pair job. And they were mostly things that had either belonged to their father or been given to her by others. She doesn't need anything but Matt himself. He's the gift, not her. Capable of loving someone as damaged as she is.
Going through all that pain has helped to make her who she is today. And even if she doesn't fully understand it, she's a woman that Matt seems to love. If changing all those bad memories or wiping them away would change something that he loves her about her, she doesn't want that. She wants him. This life and all the dangers it has in it. Katniss sighs happily when he pulls her tighter against him. Being held like this makes her feel incredibly safe. If he holds her like this tonight when they get back from patrol, she can face whatever the night has.
Her heartbeat does pick up pace as she waits for his reply, expecting an argument. But Matt's words are unexpected enough that she tilts her neck to be able to look at him. Her brow furrows in surprise and confusion and now it's Katniss' turn to press her lips together as she considers her words. "Matt, you didn't need to get me anything. I'm doing this because I want to."
Not because she wants anything from him. Well, anything aside from his love.
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He already is that person. He's been that person for as long as Katniss has known him. Good, earnest, and honest. She doesn't ever need him to be a successful and rich lawyer to live happily with him. Their life is comfortable and that's all she really needs. Besides, she does hope to someday be able to contribute to the income. Someday, if they're still together a few years down the line. It's what she hopes. Katniss once wanted nothing more than to leave Hell's Kitchen and get back to Brooklyn. Now, she can't imagine ever leaving.
She's never been very materialistic to begin with. Those few items that meant most to her, Katniss had left with her sister before she left for the fake au pair job. And they were mostly things that had either belonged to their father or been given to her by others. She doesn't need anything but Matt himself. He's the gift, not her. Capable of loving someone as damaged as she is.
Going through all that pain has helped to make her who she is today. And even if she doesn't fully understand it, she's a woman that Matt seems to love. If changing all those bad memories or wiping them away would change something that he loves her about her, she doesn't want that. She wants him. This life and all the dangers it has in it. Katniss sighs happily when he pulls her tighter against him. Being held like this makes her feel incredibly safe. If he holds her like this tonight when they get back from patrol, she can face whatever the night has.
Her heartbeat does pick up pace as she waits for his reply, expecting an argument. But Matt's words are unexpected enough that she tilts her neck to be able to look at him. Her brow furrows in surprise and confusion and now it's Katniss' turn to press her lips together as she considers her words. "Matt, you didn't need to get me anything. I'm doing this because I want to."
Not because she wants anything from him. Well, anything aside from his love.