[This girl....she's so young, but it's easy to see through her post and word choice that it was a hard, cruel life. One that Nel hadn't lived through, but sympathized with regardless. Which was something new for the spymistress.]

Choices that are made, things that are done, in a time of war and rebuilding are hardly ever easy. It is the strong that make those decisions to protect the weak. Killing should never be for sport. It devalues life far too much. Perhaps that is why your friend was treated so harshly. As for your self-worth, that is something that you'll have to find for yourself. Outside of others.

[She'd lived her life as a tool, thinking she would die in service to her queen and country, to bring peace to her beloved nation. Just like her father had. And yet, she'd survived and still had a purpose, a place.]

It's not an easy thing, but it's worth doing. Living your life hating yourself is pointless.