stillplaying: ([serious] desperate)
Katniss Everdeen ([personal profile] stillplaying) wrote2013-03-11 10:14 am

12th Game [voice/action]

[There are some nights where she can't sleep. Can't fall asleep to begin with, can't stay asleep once she's there. The nightmares become too intense. She awakes crying, screaming, gasping for breath. Curled up in a ball, clutching her knees to her chest in as tight a fetal position as she can get. And alone. So very, very alone in the dark, dark room.

Those kinds of nights have grown more and more common since Peeta's departure, since her death. Even Buttercup's plaintive mewling in the night hasn't made it any better. The pain and fear doesn't fade. It lasts long, long into the morning on the nights she's unable to go back to sleep. Turns into another fitful nightmare otherwise.

In one short month, there's been a lot to think about. Too much to think about. She's been stuck here a year now. Seen various shifts and experiments. Fallen in love and then lost that love. Died. In the most recent shift, while she hadn't been forced to fall in love against her will, she had watched it happen, even observed it first hand in once case. All of it, more than anything, had made her think of Peeta.

Think and mourn until she thought that she would burst from all the heartache.

During the early morning, she awoke screaming, thrashing in her bed as her nightmares played Prim's death out for her again. Prim's death followed by that of Rue's. And Peeta's electrocution in the clock arena. How she had screamed and rushed forward, how he would have been dead if not for Finnick's quick thinking.

So, so many deaths. And all because of her.

As she moves about in the bed, screaming and crying, she knocks the journal down on the floor. Buttercup mews and she just screams again, a wordless, animal scream. Whimpering and sobbing, she does eventually come to her senses. Her body remains cocooned in the sheets as she reaches for the journal, face tear-stained and lost.

She misses him. Maybe more than that, she misses having someone to comfort her in the night when the memories get to be too much.]


Gale was right. [The words are whispered, an acknowledgment to words long past that she once overheard. It's never going to be about love for her. It'll only be about who will extend her longevity in the end. Who'll make her life easier to bear. And if Peeta's not here, how could it possibly be him?

She stares at the journal a few minutes more before clearing her voice and finally speaking, wiping away any lingering tears.]


I know that when you die here, they'll take things from you. And they'll change things during the shifts. Hijack you and alter your memories.

Can you get them to do that even outside a shift? How would you contact them? I-- I want them gone. The memories of Peeta being here. I don't want to miss him anymore, miss--

[Being in love. Being loved. But she doesn't know how to say that part aloud. She wishes for a brief moment she had kept some of that candy from the spa. The stuff that made her open up more. It'd make this all the more easier.]

Is there a magic? Please? Something, anything? I don't have much to offer, but I am a good hunter. I'll trade game and pelts. Anything you want.

I want to move on. I want to forget. And I don't know how else to do it. [Richard's advice comes to mind. She's already thrown herself in hunting, thrown herself in anything and everything she can think of to distract her. It hasn't worked. Not at all. So that leaves only the other thing he recommended: moving on.] He might never come back. I might never go back. I-- I don't want to be lonely anymore. I want to move on.


[With that, she closes the journal to go get dressed. Her hair is pulled back in a messy braid before she heads out. Not to hunt. Not today. Instead, she goes to the library. She has research to do.]
antivanleather: (And you said?)

[action]

[personal profile] antivanleather 2013-03-27 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
Don't be like me, Katniss.

[It's out before he can stop himself, and after a moment's thought? It's precisely what he needs to say.]

Find what you need to fill your days with joy and comfort without the risk of affection and sentiment- but do not be like me. Your chaste manner is a part of your charm. I would hate to see you lose that.
universal_charm: (Default)

Re: voice;

[personal profile] universal_charm 2013-03-27 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ Sometimes tough love is what you need. He doesn't particularly like being ass, but he spent a long time being angry. Not in the way Katniss is, and he won't pretend that, but he doesn't want to see a young girl spend her life angry and depressed either. Especially not here. ]

Hey, all I'm saying is you have options, I just highlighted one of them for you.
relictusdeus: (Interesting)

video/filtered

[personal profile] relictusdeus 2013-03-27 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh, how fucking delicious a little tit for tat could be. A snarling smirk of bitter satisfaction curls his lips at the thought.]

My, such a fierce young thing you are.
goldenglasses: Maker on LJ (this is my sad face ;_;)

[Voice]

[personal profile] goldenglasses 2013-03-27 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry, I didn't know you were dead back home.
fourthgenerationprincess: (facehoof)

voice

[personal profile] fourthgenerationprincess 2013-03-27 09:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ She sighs. ] Well, if you change your mind and want to talk, you can usually find me at the library. I'm helping shelve books there now. I just hate to see somepony as upset as you.
greenjacketed: (♖ how can you pay back a man?)

[ action ]

[personal profile] greenjacketed 2013-03-27 11:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ with a sigh that was more playful than serious: ] Aye. But I'd teach you at night, instead.

[ the door is once again locked and sharpe drops once again to his knee. ] Pay close attention.
not_a_troll: (studying)

[written]

[personal profile] not_a_troll 2013-03-27 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Incredibly dumb wench.

[And Loki leaves it with that. He has the last word, and Loki loves having the last word.]

voice;

[personal profile] ex_tessen852 2013-03-27 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
And if you go through this again? You'll have to relive the pain. You won't have this time of your life to learn how to deal with things.

I know this place can hurt, trust me. But forgetting about it isn't the right way to go about it. It's the easy way out, and that usually means it isn't the right thing to do.
antivanleather: (oh ho)

[action]

[personal profile] antivanleather 2013-03-28 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
Of course you do. I am too charming for you to not!

[It's an easy, comfortable joke to crack, and one he makes gladly.

By now they have made their way to the kitchen, and with one last squeeze he steps away to rummage through the fridge for what he would need for Katniss' meal. Cooking had always been soothing to him.]


And I am incredibly fond of you as well, because you are easily flustered and somewhat...oh. what is the word- ah. Prudish. It's charming.
handing: (Default)

Re: [voice/locked]

[personal profile] handing 2013-03-28 12:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Actually, I do.  [The skepticism is understandable, and Pepper keeps her calm.  She’s no less certain in the face of Katniss’s disbelief.]
 
The person I’m with couldn’t tell me he loved me for a very long time.  Even after we’d been together for over two years, he just couldn’t get the words out.  Not until I nearly died on the last draft.  [She hesitates then, not only to find the right words, but to keep back the emotion that accompanies the memory.  It had been one of the worst experiences of her life, yet also one of the best, and she smiles faintly as she describes it.]  I was infected, but they gave me the protocure so I wouldn’t lose my mind.  It meant that I was aware of everything happening to me:  all of the pain, and the…hunger.  [She swallows, hoping that Katniss knows enough about what happened to understand what that means.  Pepper isn’t willing to explain it.]
 
We found out the Malnosso were going to bomb Vaskoth to end the infection, and Tony—Tony refused to leave.  [Adamantly refused, and Pepper remembers all too well the conflicted feelings that overwhelmed her, along with the sense of helplessness.]  He could have, because he wasn’t infected.  He just would not let me die alone.
 
Then he helped me dance.  Dancing together is something very special to us, and he wanted to help me forget everything that was happening, even for a few minutes.  That’s when he said it, and just hearing it made me happy.  In spite of everything else, all of it—I really was happy in that moment.
 
And that’s how I know Peeta was too, when you said it, and why I think it’s better.  That you’re better, for being able to trust another person that much.
relictusdeus: (Cloak)

video/filtered

[personal profile] relictusdeus 2013-03-31 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's not the answer he had expected, but his own comes without him missing a beat.]

In the end... 'tis only the fiercest who survive.

[His mind drifts back once more to the castle and the brutal pecking order among beasts.]

And the weak grovel at their feet.
Edited (feckkkkin' typo... >:I) 2013-03-31 20:47 (UTC)
relictusdeus: (Devilish)

video/filtered

[personal profile] relictusdeus 2013-03-31 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
You have a tongue, don't you?

[There's a sharp, mocking note in his voice.] Use it.

Page 11 of 13