[The word is barked, harsh. The numbness she had felt yesterday had started to disappear during the night. Grief had taken its place. Grief akin to the grief she felt when her sister had died. That overwhelming sadness that had made the Mockingjay a mental Avox. She had been recuperating them, the fire mutt with the burns and skin grafts that made patchwork of her skin. Recuperating and struggling to understand the loss, to reconcile with the fact that she would never see her Prim grow old.
And then Snow had opened her eyes. They had promised, hadn't they? To never lie to each other? She was confused at first, she didn't believe him. But there was no excuse for a thirteen year old to be in the front lines. Prim never should have been there when the bombs exploded.
Revenge hadn't satisfied her. All she had wanted after was to join her sister. To be done with this existence. What was left for her, anyway? Execution? Banishment? The Mockingjay had served her purpose. She had become a liability to the new government after killing Coin. More so, she had outlived anything worth living for in her own life. She'd never look at Gale the same way again, Peeta no longer loved her like he once did, Prim had gone.
The decision had been so clear at the time.
It wasn't as clear now. Her head was a whirlwind of thoughts. But the emotions were clear. The grief, the anger. Especially the anger. How she wanted to hurt them, the Malnosso. Clove and Cato for still being here. Together. Haymitch, for once again failing as a mentor. Hurt someone, anyone, the way she had been hurt.
And here, Clove was talking about debts. Claiming that she had actually owed Katniss something. For what? For keeping polite during the hijacking? It had been in her best interest to be honest with her, to not take advantage. However right the actions had been, she knew by then how these games worked. How they did not last. Clove would eventually remember. She wouldn't risk the treaty in any way, especially when Peeta had been unable to defend himself.
She shook her head and snorted.] No.
I don't believe that. I killed him. [Her voice breaks a little, howls of mutts with the eyes of lost children filling her head.] How could you possibly ever consider yourself in debt to me when I killed him?
action;
[The word is barked, harsh. The numbness she had felt yesterday had started to disappear during the night. Grief had taken its place. Grief akin to the grief she felt when her sister had died. That overwhelming sadness that had made the Mockingjay a mental Avox. She had been recuperating them, the fire mutt with the burns and skin grafts that made patchwork of her skin. Recuperating and struggling to understand the loss, to reconcile with the fact that she would never see her Prim grow old.
And then Snow had opened her eyes. They had promised, hadn't they? To never lie to each other? She was confused at first, she didn't believe him. But there was no excuse for a thirteen year old to be in the front lines. Prim never should have been there when the bombs exploded.
Revenge hadn't satisfied her. All she had wanted after was to join her sister. To be done with this existence. What was left for her, anyway? Execution? Banishment? The Mockingjay had served her purpose. She had become a liability to the new government after killing Coin. More so, she had outlived anything worth living for in her own life. She'd never look at Gale the same way again, Peeta no longer loved her like he once did, Prim had gone.
The decision had been so clear at the time.
It wasn't as clear now. Her head was a whirlwind of thoughts. But the emotions were clear. The grief, the anger. Especially the anger. How she wanted to hurt them, the Malnosso. Clove and Cato for still being here. Together. Haymitch, for once again failing as a mentor. Hurt someone, anyone, the way she had been hurt.
And here, Clove was talking about debts. Claiming that she had actually owed Katniss something. For what? For keeping polite during the hijacking? It had been in her best interest to be honest with her, to not take advantage. However right the actions had been, she knew by then how these games worked. How they did not last. Clove would eventually remember. She wouldn't risk the treaty in any way, especially when Peeta had been unable to defend himself.
She shook her head and snorted.] No.
I don't believe that. I killed him. [Her voice breaks a little, howls of mutts with the eyes of lost children filling her head.] How could you possibly ever consider yourself in debt to me when I killed him?